Truth in Names

A little January retail-exhaustion relief:

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Hairy Bolero! All that hair for just $29.95. Not only are they cute, but I'd buy one just for the name. And it's a good conversation starter: "Oh, thanks, you like my Hairy Bolero? I like to wear it with my Sticky Pleather." Now I want to work for H&M and write sign text all day. Please help me get started. Hat-Head Fedora? Junk-in-the-Trunk Jeans?

H&M Herald Square, 34th & 6th Avenue
H&M, 34th Street & 7th Avenue