Here I was thinking I was going to do a sweet, benign little baby announcement post. But then, while hooked up to my breast pump sucking the food source dry of whatever was left after my newborn dined almost exclusively from 7am - 12:19pm, I came across these sentences while reading a New Yorker article (Oct. 19th, 2009) about an artist who makes extremely expensive blobs of sculpture:
"Lotti MacLead, Urs [said artist] and Cassandra's baby, was born on July 25th. She was awake when I visited the Bond Street loft a couple of weeks later, calm and lovely in her cushioned carry-cot. One of the three cats paused occasionally to study her. Both parents radiated parenthood."
Upon reading this I went slightly agro and began talking loudly to myself, almost waking up my lovely baby girl who was not in the least bit calm all morning long (thus the marathon breast-feeding).
Dear Calvin Tomkins [writer of said New Yorker article]:
Curses to you! Curses to you for misleading New Yorker readers everywhere by portraying 2-week-old newborns as "calm and lovely" and new parents as "radiating parenthood." I would like a retraction printed in the next issue. Thank you.
Sincerely,
A New Parent Radiating Scary Smells As She Hasn't Bathed In Days
And finally, the benign cute stuff:
Hazel and her daddy, and Hazel in her bunny ear hat. Hard to resist the animal hats.
Hazel and her daddy, and Hazel in her bunny ear hat. Hard to resist the animal hats.
In these photos I'm trying to show you guys her enormous feet. We won't be starting a college fund, but instead a fund to help pay for the custom-made shoes this girl is going to need. We can't have her wearing sensible size 12's, right? Thanks to Mamalizza for the adorable changing pad and cover, it's Hazel's favorite place to hang.
Hazel Patricia Josephine Lewis, born October 17th, 2009, 9 pounds 1 oz. and 21 inches long. I love her in ways I never knew possible, and she can cry for 24 hours again next Sunday and I'll still love her and give thanks to the baby gods for her blessed existence. Just don't ever tell me I'm radiating parenthood, or Hazel and I are going to have to go kick some smelly reality into you. After a good cry, of course.
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