Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Free Dress Proves Nothing is Free

Remember the Project Runway Bitten dress sold at Steve & Barry's? Remember, ages ago, when Fashion Herald gave 5 away? So much has happened since then: Victorya was auf'd and Christian won; Fashion Herald attended (and was underwhelmed by) Victorya's New York fashion week debut; and Melissa, a dress winner, was game enough to model the Bitten dress for her friends' amusement. Following are her pictures and her review:

Your officemates look so much better in it! Maybe I am not thin and/or curvy enough to make it work. As a representative of the boyish-but-not-waifish figured-women, I would like to submit this dress review:


1. The dress is very easy to put on & take off. There are no zippers or snaps or anything.
2. I could probably gain 50 lbs & still wear it.

3. The bow is fun to play with.


1. Your friends will laugh at you. (See pictures 1, 2, & 3 above -- do the heels make it worse?)

Below are some attempts to not look like a weeblewobble with limbs:

Picture 4: the ties are twisted down the back & then tied around the waist.

Pictures 5&6: the ties are wrapped under the arms and across the back & then tied around torso, kinda like an empire-waist dress (see dots in picture 5).

Pictures 7&8: the bow is tied around the head to draw the eye away from the large tent that is my body. (The wig is just for contrast.)

Thanks for the dress!

Really? Because that last shot proves Melissa had quite a challenge of her own. And she looks as good as my officemates, if not more so; certainly the pink, bewigged, "Bitten bunny" shot is an A+. Melissa, not only do you have a perfect costume if Halloween and Easter ever land on the same day, but you've also proved your insane styling chops. She achieves the impossible and makes this dress wearable. Thank-you Melissa, you are so cool to send us all this. And please check out her band, Last Year's Model, at their myspace page. Yes, she is the keyboardist for the best band EVER! Enjoy.

Steve & Barry's, Manhattan Mall level 2, 33rd @ 6th Ave