Friday, January 18, 2008

Farewell Foo Young (Part One)

We started the week with Xmastime, so we'll end it by checking in on our dieting resolution man. Here's the skinny (ha, ha) from the manny blogger himself, and his version of our day of jeans shopping, Part One. We'll post Part Two later for your weekend reading pleasure.

"Sunday night before shopping I polished off my last meal from Kam Sing (Farewell, Foo Young), slid into bed and had a panic attack for about 6 hours. Cause let's face it, a guy shopping for clothes with a woman who knows what she's doing is as overwhelming as the first time he ever had sex. Memories of crying in the middle of a mall and holding handbags outside fitting rooms came flooding back to me. Needless to say, I got zero sleep Sunday night.

But Monday afternoon I scooped up Lil Xmas, met Trish from the Fashion Herald and started my first ever shopping trip for jeans. We were whisked away into a small joint* where, upon entering, I immediately thought 'oh well, they sell suits, not jeans' and I turned Lil Xmas' stroller back towards the door...whereupon I was reminded of yet another difference between men and women. A dude will enter a store and if he doesn't immediately see what he's looking for, he will leave. Goodbye. Women, either out of some hopeless naivete or because they don't see the extra 4 seconds as taking up time from curing cancer/hating on K-Fed, will always ask if what they want is there. A woman can walk into a store whose sign reads 'WE SELL POTATO CHIPS' and, before leaving, will ask 'do you guys sell Hello Kitty license plates?' And, unbelievably, their success rate is about 98%. I'm always amazed they even get the guy working to go look; next thing you know he's walking up with '...the last set of Hello Kitty plates in stock...' One big life lesson you learn while shopping with a woman: it never hurts to ask."
Return for part two, where Xmastime learns how to wear jeans (really!), sees his first pair of $100+ jeans (he's like a jeans virgin!), has a mad run-in with a well clad, custom-fit-jeans-wearing salesclerk, and gives us more fascinating insight into the mind of a guy who, as rumor has it, got his last pair of jeans free with an oil change.

*Cambridge Members, 1270 Broadway @ 33rd