Monday, January 21, 2008

Farewell Foo Young (Part Two)

We pick up with manny blogger Xmastime jeans shopping at Cambridge Members. Read on as he discovers Macy's is not an exclusive members only club...

"So I was then introduced to a pair of $175 jeans. Unbelievable. To me, it's silly to charge $175 for jeans since anyone even considering such a price probably has no idea how much he even spends on jeans, so why not just go all out and charge $1,000? I was also informed that I've been wearing jeans incorrectly my whole life - apparently they should settle ON the hip, not OVER the hip. I am 35 years old. Why am I just now hearing about this? I wear jeans every day of my life and at no point did anyone ever sit me down and explain how to wear them. I should feel a little cheated, no? Luckily, I was then distracted by the salesman saying he gets his jeans custom-made overseas. Lil Xmas chose this exact moment to say his first words - I won't repeat them here, but they rhyme with "WHAT the f--k???!!!!"

We got out of there before Mr. Overseas convinced us to buy a miniature black suit for Lil Xmas for 'only' $475 ('believe me, you might need it soon' he said to Lil Xmas while eyeballing me, grrrrr), and headed over to Macy's. Which was a trip for me since Macy's is one of those places you hear about from the second you're born, but don't think people actually go there. I had no idea anybody could just breeze in - I envisioned an alarm going off as I entered, warning security that someone who had once bought 21 hot dogs for 99 cents at a supermarket was entering the building. But soon we were strolling through the floors, going from designer to designer. Turns out each designer is like his own little country and Macy's is like Europe. Fascinating. It actually didn't take too long for us to settle on a nice pair of INC jeans. Not too fancy, but metro enough to let you think you could beat the hell out of me with my ironic HR Pufnstuf lunch box.

All's fair in love and jeans, brah."
Return for more Xmastime insight into this societal enigma, the guy who first stepped into a Macy's at age 35.

Cambridge Members, 33rd & Broadway
Macy's, 151 W. 34th between Broadway & 7th Ave.