Thursday, February 14, 2008

Don't Panic

Fashion Herald Valentine's Day PSA for the men:

It's almost 2pm and you've done nothing for your sweetie. "Victoria's Secret!" you think, "Herald Square!" Great impulse, big store, big selection, but stop and take a breath. Do you know her size? And I'm not talking shoe size.

I'll never forget the Valentine's Day I received, from my then-boyfriend, a lovely piece of lingerie from Victoria's Secret, a rather complicated little bit of nothing that was very attractive but, how should I say, a little ambitious in the cup size area? Yes, I was taken aback, "You think I'm a 36D?" Certainly this boded ill for the relationship, as I was unwilling to achieve such, um, greatness. So learn from others: if you don't have the measurements, ALL the measurements, don't guess. Imagine if you go too big ("you think I'm a large? Are you saying my ass is too big?") or too small ("I'll never fit into this! Do you wish I was this small?").

Try a robe instead:

Here's a spa wrap for $28.50 (yes, hearts, she'll probably think it's cute). Then drop by Aura Wellness Spa one block down on 33rd and buy her a massage ($70-$170) or a facial ($70-$150). Don't worry, we love facials, we'll never say "What, do you think I have bad skin?"

Or do a satin, kimono-sleeved short robe for something a little sexier (right, $35). And because we know you love these tacky, cliched, hideous things called "slippers," go ahead and buy them (left, $48). But tuck a reflexology gift certificate (Aura, $70) into the box. Call it incentive to wear them, indoors, only for you, far, far away from the public eye.

Victoria's Secret Herald Square, 1328 Broadway @34th
Aura Wellness Spa, 49 W. 33rd just east of Broadway